Archive for January, 2006

Three Squares

Monday, January 16th, 2006

One of the animated Charmin commercials seems to show a "young" bear who seems to be under pressure to use the bathroom. He goes over the toilet paper, and says, "I’m gonna need all this!" while taking what looks like a quarter of the roll.

The Dad bear tells him he’s only going to need this, rolling back the roll and giving the bear FOUR SQUARES of toilet paper. The video then shows how 3 squares of theirs are as absorbent as 4 squares of another leading brand.

Three squares? What can you do with three squares? I don’t think I could even blow my nose in three squares let alone deal with "something" under pressure in my body with only three squares.

Maybe they should do a campaign like "how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?" How many squares do YOU need? :)


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Special Thermostat

Friday, January 13th, 2006

Has anybody invented this or is this just my idea? Well someone please produce this and make it available to me. If maintenance didn’t offer it to me, maybe it’s just not out there.

I want a thermostat that doesn’t separate heat and cool. Right now, I pick the temperature I want, and I set it to heat or cool (and then AUTO), and it’ll kick in as it’s needed.

But what about here in Arizona, where we might as well get four seasons in one day? We have days where you can wake up to 40 degrees outside but by 4pm it’s 80 degrees outside. That means that in the morning, I need the heat to get me to 70 degrees, but in the afternoon, I need the air conditioning to keep me at 70 degrees! If I forget to change it from A/C to heat when I go to sleep, I could wake up to it being 60 degrees in here since the heat never kicked it (the A/C was on auto).

I’d like to have a thermostat where I can tell it 70 degrees. Then it knows I’d settle for 68 or 72 as you need a range. It’ll heat as needed or cool as needed as long as I’m in 68-72. You need the range so that if the heat makes it 71, the A/C doesn’t kick in to bring it down to 70. That’d drive you crazy plus run up the electric bill.

Somebody please make that!


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Infomercials Abound

Thursday, January 12th, 2006

9:30am on a Sunday. I browse the first 45 channels of our TV listings, and 11 of them are infomercials. That includes on UPN and FOX plus many cable channels.

Nothing else can be run on a Sunday morning? Is the whole city in church? Guess not if the infomercial on the Spanish station is for 20 CDs of Spanish worship music.


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Infallable

Wednesday, January 11th, 2006

I’m calling this good marketing since I did this and I can laugh at myself.

I have a new client who read my eBay strategy e-book, and told me I had a few typos in it. Oh well, I’m human. But the typo he pointed out was that I wrote, "infallable," instead of "infallible."

Infallible, of course, means incapable of failing or erring, yet my spelling itself was an error. I love it! I want to put in huge letters on a shirt, "INFALLABLE" since it negates itself.


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McD’s Secret Process

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006

This one had me nearly screaming at my TV.

The Food Channel ran an "Unwrapped" episode the other day that was going to show you how McDonald’s french fries were "formed." They used the word formed. I already went nuts. Most people know that those fries don’t have the texture of cut potatoes. In addition, most people have been made aware that McD’s adds beef fat to the fries for flavor. They’re not cooked in beef fat – it’s IN the fry.

So what did the TV show reveal? First, 100% russet potatoes are brought in, washed, and peeled. Next, the voiceover says that they go through a "super secret process" and the fries come out the other end. The camera shows potatoes going into a factory machine, and the fries we all know coming out. They then show a McD’s spokesguy, who says that the only thing that happens in there is that they go through a high speed cutter.

Soul for sale!

I just couldn’t make sense of everything hitting my senses. The potatoes are going into a machine and we can’t show you what’s going on because it’s super secret… but they’re just being cut?!?!? I don’t believe it for a nanosecond.

This would be like watching how cigarettes are made, and the tobacco company is trying to say that the tobacco is cut in the field, dried, and goes into your cigarette with no other treatment or ingredients.


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Could Guarantee

Monday, January 9th, 2006

You’d like a guarantee! Maybe a company will guarantee that a product will work a certain way or for a certain amount of time without trouble. Maybe it’s a "system" that you’d use to make money like from an infomercial. If those made air-tight guarantees, that’d be great. The Attorneys General of every state would probably be thrilled!

I saw one recently that said it "could guarantee" a certain amount of success. I’m thinking, "We COULD guarantee that, but we won’t!"


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