Archive for June, 2006

Breath-Freshening Flavours

Friday, June 30th, 2006

Vanilla Mint Listerine. What does the combo of vanilla and mint smell like to other people? After all, that’s part of why you use mouth wash. You want breath that smells great to other people.

So what does vanilla and mint together smell like? How about that new lemon toothpaste? How about those new "citrus" mints from Ice Breakers? Do these things really smell good to other people? Do they make your breath seem fresh and attractive?

Vanilla mint? What’s next? Blueberry rhubarb? Chocolate mint? Carob almond?


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Who Listens to Sports Talk Radio?

Thursday, June 29th, 2006

One fun marketing game I like to play (in my head) is determining what the target market is for a TV or radio show by which companies choose to advertise.

I used to crack myself up listening to the commercials played on New York’s AM Sports Talk Radio. Evidently, the listeners were bald, impotent, overweight men with advanced cancer, third degree burns on most of their body, and an aging parent requiring full time care.

Here in Tucson, they play ads for Shirley Temple movies on DVD during The Price Is Right. Considering that show is up against Maury Povich and The View, I guess the wholesome and older crowd are watching Bob Barker. And I have it on as background noise from time to time as I can’t stand the other two shows.

Play my reverse demographic game, and see who advertisers THINK you are.


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Cukor Nelkul, As Well You Know

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006

Last night, I flew America West/US Airways from JFK in NY to Phoenix. I asked the flight attendant for a Diet Coke, and was handed a silver can with red writing.

I looked closely at it, and realised it was not an American Diet Coke can. It said "Coca-Cola light," and nothing on the can was in English. I had NO idea what language this was, but something clued me in.

www.cocacola.hu

Dot-HU is Hungary. How did I get a can of Hungarian Diet Coke on a New York to Arizona flight? The attendant looked through her cans, and the rest were all American Diet Coke. How did this weirdo slip in?

I drank it and I’m alive today. I guess it was OK. But I think it missed it’s connecting flight.


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They’re Smart For Something!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006

I’m in NYC on a biz/family trip, and I was on a subway yesterday. A young woman got on wearing a navy t-shirt with yellow Hebrew letters. She looked Asian-American, so I thought she might not be Jewish, just statistically speaking. :)

I don’t speak Hebrew, but I have learned to sound letters out. I’m sounding it out in my head, and I finally decide it says, "Michigan." Michigan in phonetics? I tap the girl and ask her if it says Michigan.

Yes! It does, she tells me, and she wants to know if I went there (for university). No, I didn’t. She then tells me that Hillel (the Jewish community at colleges for those who don’t know) was giving them out. I said that’s very clever for Hillel to write Michigan in Hebrew. "Well," she replies, "They’re smart for something!"

They‘re smart for something. Those Jews sure were smart to write something in Hebrew on a shirt!

I wish people could hear what comes out of their mouths!!!


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Why So Grumpy?

Monday, June 19th, 2006

We tell eBay sellers to write their text to be friendly. Why list reasons to
not buy your item? Why threaten people when they’re shopping? We liken this to
running a real-life pizzeria; you probably wouldn’t shout at people who enter
that they’d better be serious about eating your pizza because sauce ain’t free.

I recently found a real-life example of someone doing that shouting. This is
what happens when people think that customer service isn’t necessary. I emailed
The Colbert Report to try to get 2 tickets, which are free, for a taping. They
emailed me this:

The
Colbert Report

   

Dear Attendees,   

   

YOU NEED TO E-MAIL US
NOW TO CONFIRM YOUR TICKETS.

IF WE DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU BY
FRIDAY, JUNE 16, THEN YOUR TICKETS WILL BE CANCELLED.

    

   

Confirm by
E-mail:
audience@thecolbertreport.org

  

E-mail must
include:  

* name your
tickets are held under 

* show date
in your confirmation

* include
show date in e-mail title 

  

Please do not e-mail us asking how many tickets you
have, you are responsible to remember. If you show up with too many guests the day of the show, those people
will be turned away.

 

This ticket is non-transferable. It can not be sold or auctioned. This ticket can be revocable at any time.

 

If you cancel
or do not show up on your requested show date, unfortunately you will NOT
be eligible to reschedule
(NO EXCEPTIONS).

 

YOU WILL NOT HEAR A RESPONSE
FROM US UNLESS THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR CONFIRMATION.


This is your
E-mail Ticket to The Colbert Report
 

 

  

Show Date:
June 21, 2006

Show Time:
7:00 pm 

Number of
Tickets: 2

Name: Debbie
Levitt
 

Thank you for
planning to attend a taping of our show.

Studio
Location:

The Colbert
Report

 

513 West 54th
Street

 

Between
10th and  

11th Avenue

New York

,

NY

10019

 

 

Show
day:
 

· Doors open at
6:00 pm
(weather permitting). We strongly suggest getting here at least an hour and a half prior to
the doors opening. 

· Once you join the audience line, seating is on a first come, first serve basis.

· Entry is not guaranteed, even if you have
confirmed your tickets.  

· You
may not hold tickets for your party, past 

6:00
pm.

(After

6:00pm

, latecomers
must join the end of the line). No
exceptions
are made past this point of time.  

 

It is
important to read all of the detailed instructions.

 

Rules &
Regulations:

· You must be
18 years or older to attend.

· Everyone must
bring a valid government issued photo I.D.

· No cameras
and/or recording devices are permitted.

· No
food/beverages allowed in the studio.

· Show taping
dates & times are subject to change.

· Only
confirmed ticket holders will be admitted based on availability.

 

We look
forward to seeing you at the show.

 

Thank you

 

Audience
Department

The
Colbert Report

Well that sure is grumpy! Lots of rules! You write how many tickets
you’re giving me but yell that it’s my responsibility to know how many tickets I
have. You might revoke my tickets. I might not get in even though I waited hours and have tickets. So much in bold and all capital letters. Grumpy and bossy, and why? Who
benefits from this?

Guess what. I was away at the eBay convention last week, and didn’t see this
email until after their deadline. I wrote back explaining that and asking if it
were possible to still have these tickets. They sent back a one-line email
saying my tickets were cancelled. Not sorry. Not thanks. Not thanks for being a
fan of the show. Nothing about how to get standby tickets or if tickets were
available for another day. Nothing about the week being sold out.

But now I don’t want to write them back ANYWAY. I’m so sour at the two emails
that I don’t want to see this show taped (or possibly broadcasted). What’s the
point of treating people like that? How much extra cost would there be, how much extra time would it take for someone to have been funny or friendly? This is The Colbert Report. It’s a comedy show. Why not bring that vibe into the emails rather than this grumpiness?


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Hottest T-Shirt at eBay Live!

Sunday, June 18th, 2006

I’m just back from the annual eBay convention… preparing for it is why I haven’t blogged in weeks, but I’ll try to get back in the swing!

Today, I’m here to tell you about the most desired shirt at the convention. I hope to get one for me. It was part of the uniform for MarketWorks, one of the vendors who exhibited near us. The shirt had three boxes with icons. First was a drawn eye. Second was two arrows pointing left and right above each other. Third was a drawn shopping cart with a $ symbol in it.

One of the MW staff came by our booth, and told us JOKINGLY that it means, "I go both ways for money." Well, we went out of our minds at this marketing! He then told us what it really means, but we don’t remember! We only remember the joke!

We want a shirt! Hey, MarketWorks. Send us some shirts. :)


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