Don’t Wish For Me What I Don’t Wish For Me

Tuesday, 18 May 2010 at 4:27 am Pacific USA Time.

There are some unique things about my life and how I live it. They are things I'm really happy about and proud of. Yet, when I happily and proudly tell people, they are sure these things should be different from how they are. They tell me they wish, hope, and pray that the opposite of what I want to happen to me will happen to me. Huh?

That would be like you saying, "I am so glad that I am going on a Bahamas cruise," and my response is, "Oh, I'd never want to go there. I will pray that a hurricane blows in, and your trip gets cancelled." Makes no sense, right?

Let's not waste your wishing and praying time on that! If you would like to wish and pray for anything, wish and pray for what I want in my life!

So for those of you who hear that I don't have kids, don't pray that I have kids someday because you love kids so much. I don't want kids. Pray that I don't end up with kids. :)

When you hear that I don't want kids, don't wish that I will get out of this "phase," and pursue having a family. Wish that I will have a mountain of fun and a long life without kids!

For those of you who hear that I do not have a relationship with my parents or only sibling, do not wish that I will someday have a relationship with these people. It is mutual and on purpose that I have no relationship with these people. I do not want to speak to them or be connected to them in any way ever again. There is nothing anybody can do to "fix" this, there is nothing to fix, and my relationship with them is exactly what I wanted for as long as I can remember. Please do not hope and pray that we all get together. We're all putting in deliberate effort to stay apart!

So what do I say?

When someone tells me something, I ask them how they feel about it. Even things you'd assume are universally seen a certain way. When someone tells me they're pregnant, I say, "How do you feel about that?" You'd be surprised at the answers I've gotten back. Not everybody was happy, and those who weren't appreciated that I didn't just launch into the usual congratulations, you're gonna be so happy, a baby is so wonderful, etc…

When someone tells me she broke up with her boyfriend, I ask how she feels about that. Sometimes, a woman is thrilled to be done with a bad guy, and it won't have made sense for me to be like, "Oh, I'm sorry, he was so great…" If he wasn't great, she knows it, and especially if I know it, I might as well support her and NOT be sorry or say he was great! If she is sad about the breakup, I probably still wouldn't say he was great.

In conclusion…

Remember that not everybody is happy with a situation you would love, and not everybody is unhappy with a situation you would hate to be in. Why not first gauge how people feel about something? Then you can wish, pray, and hope that the outcome is the one they want for themselves. When you tell someone you wish and pray for an outcome that is OPPOSITE to what they want, you sound weird or unsupportive.

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Categories: Just An Observation

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