Exploited Child

Wednesday, 15 June 2005 at 5:00 pm Pacific USA Time.

We all groan when we see another pregnant woman selling her belly or some random college dude selling his forehead on eBay so that someone can advertise on it. And it’s almost always GoldenPalaceCasino who wins those.

Right now, there is a listing on eBay where a woman is auctioning the name for her child. This is not only a living child, but the girl is 20 months old already. They claim that the birth certificate has no name, and they just haven’t been able to choose a name for her. I’d think that she would have exhibited enough of a personality by now that you could come up with a good name for her.

But her name’s for sale, and what makes this even more awful is that according to the auction, 100% of the winning bid goes to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. This girl is going to end up being named GoldenPalaceCasino or VirginMaryGrilledCheese… and that’s not exploiting her?

The irony’s not lost on me, but I have no idea if these people are trying to be ironic. Yes, they are exploiting their daughter to help protect exploited children. This isn’t a kitten, where today we’ll call her Snowball, tomorrow we’ll call her Coconut, and either way, the cat won’t care because she isn’t listening to you any way. This is your child, and I’m leaning towards saying that a 20-month-old with no first name is abusive.

This goes beyond bad marketing. And these people are getting "human interest story" slot on our news. These people should be locked up. Can anybody think of charges that can be brought here? If not, go ahead and complain to the people who’ll get the money from this listing. How awful.

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Categories: That's Bad Marketing

Comments Closed

3 Responses to “Exploited Child”

  1. Valerie says:

    I agree—people and their kids’ names have gotten completely out of hand. They take perfectly nice normal names and spell them so no one can tell what it is!
    I have nothing against a genuine ethnic name, but what culture do Diante and DeAuntie come from (two actual names of patients)???
    The woman needs to be taken out and sterilized, so she cannot perpetrate this on her next child. I am ashamed of ebay as well.

  2. Iarla says:

    As with the rest of the world, In the council estates in Dublin there’s currently a large population of 15-17 year old girls named Kylie, dating back to Ms. Minogue’s first flourish with fame – There’s probably a few Madonnas hanging around. As I’m sure there’s a lot of young girls named Britney currently reaking havoc in a Council Estate\Trailer Park near you. The point of all of this, is that about 2 years ago, When leaving College one day, I overheard a mother in a thick Dublin accent (The college I went to was in a rougher part of the city) trying to control her young daughter, clearly running amok up ahead, shouting the immortal sentence “Pocahontas, get back here, or there’ll be trouble!”
    (Actually, the phrase uttered was “Pocahontas, Get back here, Or i’ll bleedin’ kill ya!” – But I’m not sure that Dublin lingo and\or accents are exactly international – Even if it’s even funnier when heard)
    Anyway – I thought this was an example of the naming of children gone absolutely mad. Who in their right mind calls a child Pocohantas? Especially when they’re very white, and very much from West Dublin?

  3. As Was says:

    Love your story, and you didn’t have to edit it for me! I prefer what she really said!