How To Be a Blog Shill and Pretend You’re Not

Friday, 20 July 2007 at 5:00 am Pacific USA Time.

Well, if you didn’t read the ruckus over here, you surely will want to. Do not partake of a beverage during the reading as you may do a spit take when laughing.

So for you amateur blog shills, here’s my new step by step on how to badmouth another company in the style of the company that’s already doing it.

  1. Disregard the fact that you’ve never worked with us, never spoken to us, and I have NO clients who have ever said they are comparing us to you. Create in your head that we are major competitors, and you need to randomly attack us!
  2. Miss the memo that our companies are evidently friends. Your Chairman tried to get me to join his LinkedIn network, saying our companies were Business Partners.
  3. Post to a business blog you write about how terrible we are. You disagree with everything we stand for. I’m awful! Insult us, but definitely don’t bring up anything about the great success we have with our clients.
  4. Write our company name in your post so that your blog will show up in search results for our company name.
  5. Turn off comments so that all of the people who think you’re out of your mind can’t respond.
  6. Read my blog post about what I thought of your blog post. :)
  7. Respond to my blog, saying that that’s your personal blog and has nothing to do with your employer. Your blog is about eBay business and you being some sort of consultant, and that’s your personal blog? Where’s the post about your kitty cat?
  8. Revise your blog post to correct some of the things I pointed out in my post that reacted to your badmouthing post, and to further insult me personally as well as my entire company.
  9. Act surprised that I am, as you call it, "retaliating," which would imply that yours was the first attack. Otherwise, you’d be saying, "Why are you writing things in response to us doing nothing?" which I guess is what I’m doing. I’m wondering why you are writing things and being aggressive when we don’t compete and we haven’t said or done anything against you. We hadn’t heard of you 5 weeks ago!
  10. Watch your co-worker out you in the comments of my blog post. You see, I didn’t know you worked for the company trying to make themselves look better by badmouthing us. I really thought you were some sort of online amateur blogging as a shill for this other company. But thanks to another comment in my other blog post, we now know that you work for the company on this anti-As Was mission. So we were right.
  11. Watch me continue exposing you. The more you fire shots at me and my company to get attention for yours, the more I’m going to give you that attention is ways you may not have considered. :)
  12. Have NO fear of libel or business interference. I don’t suggest this step, but this is what I’m watching so far from these other guys.

So what’s next, ladies? More blog posts from you about what a meany I am? Do you really have such little work to do that you have all this time during normal business hours to do all of this blogging and commenting? I’m sorry you are not very busy right after the biggest annual convention for your business. Why do I have time for this? I’m the CEO, and I make time to deal with issues like this. :)

Let me give you some free marketing advice. Find what is better about your company than ours, and focus on marketing those aspects of your business. That would be if you decide that we compete. I am still trying to tell you that we don’t compete. People who want what you do will NOT hire us. People who want what we do will NOT hire you. When I feel like drinking a root beer, I will not choose to drink dijon mustard. Our companies don’t compete. I appreciate the free publicity, but I think you should turn your efforts to your own company.


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Categories: That's Bad Marketing

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