I Lose It in Court

Monday, 22 October 2007 at 5:30 am Pacific USA Time.

Well, I won a lawsuit recently. It was a civil suit. I sued an ex-boyfriend for money I had lent him that he never repaid. It was over $4,000, so it was in justice court and not small claims court. Filing the case was a good, empowering thing given who I used to be. Winning the case was a slam dunk, but still felt good.

At one point, I lost my cool. The Defendant was using my exhibit 9, which was an email from me to him. He had offered to pay me $50 per month (for 8 years?) but had said he didn’t even had that money, and he’s "had to cut back on food" (sob sob). I really disliked that email (it was from July 2006), and wrote him back that day that, among other things, he shouldn’t bother paying me anything this summer. Use the summer to come up with a better remedy, and I’d decide in September if I wanted to sue him or enjoy having nothing to do with him.

I ended up choosing both. I was loving having nothing to do with him, but really wanted my money. I decided in September 2006 to sue, but didn’t make time to write up the paperwork and go down to the court until March 2007.

So back to my story. The Defendant asks me in relation to exhibit 9 if I think that it would be unreasonable of him to assume that my statement saying not to pay him for those two months really meant that the whole loan was called off. Oh I lost it. I address him by Mr. ______ (last name), and said, "If you buy furniture, and they offer you no payments for your first year, do you then have free furniture with no obligation to ever pay for it?" The judge reminded me that it was the Defendant’s turn to ask questions. Oops.

The judge had to reel me in another time when I gave a long-winded, somewhat angry answer. I was pretty ticked off since I had lent someone I didn’t like money I didn’t have while I was in the process of leaving him because he seemed to be more needy than I was at the time, and here he was telling the judge how he hadn’t paid me anything, but was just trying to do the right thing. I was really not OK with that statement, and went on a bit in response to a question from the Defendant. The judge asked for yes or no. Oops. Sorry. I can be long-winded. The judge said it was OK, and that part of his job was to "direct traffic." :)

I may have lost my cool twice, but the Defendant lost the case. His evidence for trial? My exhibits 8 and 9 that I submitted (he brought nothing). The judge asked him great questions, and the Defendant admitted that it was a loan, he knew it was a loan, he wasn’t disputing the amount of the loan, and he’d never paid me anything back. He was not successful in proving that I had released him from the loan, which was the most recent of his many claims.

I’m posting here because I’m proud of myself for standing up for what was right, which was the repayment of the loan. I’m glad I stood up to this person after being in an abusive relationship with him years ago. I hope that in court that day that this person felt as low and powerless as he used to make me feel. I hope he felt like the judge had his number when the judge was reading my exhibit 11, which was a copy of a police report from when the Defendant had threatened to kill me the first time I tried to break up with him. I didn’t end up using that one, but it was in the exhibits I submitted, not knowing which ones i might need. If the Defendant had asked me GOOD questions, which he didn’t, exhibit 11 was going to answer some of them.

And now that I have a judgment, I hope he pays me. Based on what my lawyer said are my options to get paid, he should be hoping he pays me. The judgment was for the full amount with interest starting to accrue the day I won the case. I hope that when the Defendant is scraping together the money to pay me back he thinks about how I must have scraped to lend him money when I didn’t have it to lend. The Defendant always seemed like a proud guy and put himself out there as a man of his word. I hope he’s looking in the mirror wondering what’s looking back.

Sorry, just wanted to vent. And I like to remind people who have been or are in abusive relationships that you can get out, you can have your power back, and you can get past those things.

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Categories: Just An Observation

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