I’m Special, But Not Special Enough For A Personal Email


Friday, 7 May 2010 at 6:33 am Pacific USA Time.

Another in my series of "please don't do this on online dating sites." A guy I was not interested in sent me an email. Sure, he could have said, "Hi. You look interesting. Please check out my profile." That could have been it.

But no. He sent me this long email… that was clearly not for me… that he probably sends to everybody. I am not going to even BOTHER pointing out everything that is wrong here. From the fact that I don't start wars to the idea that this guy wants to kiss all his female cousins… well, I'll let you enjoy.

I emailed him back with, "Boo to copy and paste," and set the online dating system to block him.

The email was entitled, "Greetings." But really, it's like a bad forward we would all delete.

    You are a very pretty woman. I prefer brunettes. You have a face that could launch a 1,000 ships. Do you know what that saying is from? And not a song by Bread.

    You have an interesting profile.

    Auction Humor

    The bidding was proceeding furiously and strong when the Chief Auctioneer suddenly announced, "a gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars. If returned, he will pay a reward of two thousand dollars". There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a cry: "Two thousand five hundred".

    I enjoy traveling. That is why I am in Tucson. I am from Chicago. In 2005, the Chicago White Sox won the World Series. In 2006 and 2007 I came here for spring training and decided to move here. I have traveled throughout the USA and Canada. New York City, Boston, New Orleans, LA, Phoenix, Toronto, SF, Mrytle Beach VA., skiing in VT, MI, OH, KS, IA, MO, AR (been to the Hot Springs), LA, MS, AL, GA, Atlanta, Disneyworld, TN, Nashville, KY, IN, WI, MN, ND, SD, IA, Nebraska, Montana, Wyoming, Glacier Park, Yellowstone Park, and a helicoptor ride over the Grand Canyon. Overseas:Paris, Fance; Rome, Italy; Ireland and Australia.

    Family is important. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. One of my sisters is 2 years older than me. When we were young, she thought it was her personal responsibility to teach me how to treat a girl. I open all doors. Women ask me why I do that. Well, it is because of my sister. My mother's twin sister had 9 kids. Boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy. The 3rd oldest boy was a year younger than me. In grammar school, I lived every summer with them. I am from a big clan. I always thought my uncles and aunts were the best in the world. Being a Catholic clan. Everybody was baptized, first communion, confirmation, graduations. The clan got together for all of them. I was close to all my cousins. It was mandatory that all clan gatherings to shake all uncles hands and kiss all aunts. Of course, I kissed all my female cousins.

    Communication, honesty, integrity loyalty and respect are important to me.

    Please, tell me more about yourself.

    Johnny


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Categories: That's Bad Marketing

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One Response to “I’m Special, But Not Special Enough For A Personal Email”

  1. Eddie says:

    How awkward!