Profile-Writing Tips for Men on Dating Sites

Saturday, 2 January 2010 at 9:37 am Pacific USA Time.

Men, I'm here to help. It looks like you guys didn't notice that a PROFILE was your chance for me to preliminarily get to know you. I am reading profile after profile of "I'm a good listener," and "My friends are important to me," and "I'm really funny." But don't worry, I'm here to help.

  1. Tell me details of what you like. You like music! Me too. What are your favourite bands and types of music? If you love death metal and gangsta rap, we're not a match. You like comedy! Me too. Who are your favourite comedians? If it's Dane Cook and Lisa Lampanelli, we're not really a match.
  2. You're funny? Don't TELL me you're funny. Be your naturally funny self, and I'll see if you're funny. If you don't write anything funny, my impression of you will be "not funny."
  3. You're passionate? About WHAT. Is your job your passion? Which of your hobbies is your passion? What do you love SO MUCH that when you do it, you lose track of time? That's your passion, and that's what I want to hear about.
  4. Tell me up front if you have kids or want kids. If you marked yourself as not wanting kids and your profile says you think you may want kids, not only do I wonder if we match, but I wonder if you have self-awareness, especially since you can mark yourself as "not sure" if you want kids. I'm looking for someone who doesn't have kids, so let me know early on if you have kids!
  5. If "athletic and toned" is not what you are, please don't mark it as your body type. If I meet you in real life, I will use the information my eyes pass to my brain rather than holding on to what you checked off in your dating site profile.
  6. Give me an idea of things you like to do. When a dating site asks you what you do in your spare time, "reading, walking, talking, eating," (real, total answer from a profile I read) doesn't help me get to know you. Your profile is supposed to make me excited to get to know you.
  7. Spelling and grammar. Freinds? Not knowing your from you're? How about "instant message speak" like the guy who wrote, "things r important." If you look not so
    bright, I'm unlikely to want to connect with you. I require bright.
  8. Do NOT write about what sort of lover you are. Maybe it's just a woman thing, but I'm a different lover with each person I've been with since the sex and connection were different with each person. The more you write about sex, the more I think that's what you're mostly looking for (and maybe you are). But this is a dating website. I'm trying to get to know you. If the relationship gets there, I'll know what kind of lover you are, and what you SAID you are won't matter at all. If you're not cuddly or affectionate, it won't matter that you said you were in your dating profile.
  9. Do not write about money. I don't want to hear how financially wonderful you are. It almost sounds defensive. I don't want to hear how happy you are that you finally found a job. It makes me wonder how stable and employable you are.
  10. Slow down. A guy on a dating site asked me if I would relocate for a relationship (no). In a later communication, he started writing about which possible jobs he could get if he moved to where I live. Dude, I don't even know who your favourite band is. I think it's a bit early to think about which of us is relocating to live with the other. 
  11. I'm not here to hook up and find random sex. One thing men forget is that a single and available woman, even an ugly and annoying woman, can usually find at least one guy (each night) that would have sex with her. I don't need to sign on to a dating website so that I can have dirty Yahoo IM chats with you. I don't need a dating site to find people to hook up with. I'm there to find people with things in common, and start by making friends. Stop using dating sites to find people who want IM sex chat or random hook ups. You can easily find sex chat anywhere, and if you want a hook up, go sit in a bar. At least you'll see her first.

Or then again, go ahead and write all the things I'm telling you not to! You make it very clear that I need to stay away. I just hope I'm not missing somebody really great because he wrote nothing about himself. Then again, the right guy will write what I want to know!

Good luck, guys. With profiles like this, some of you need some help! Exactly what does this tell me about this guy? What here would make me excited to meet him?


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Categories: That's Good Marketing

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