Should I Sue eHarmony?


Monday, 15 December 2008 at 5:00 am Pacific USA Time.

I recently read this article about a gay man who sued eHarmony so that they would include the option of matching gay people with each other.

I tried eHarmony in early 2005. I didn't expect to find love, but I figured if it's really THAT good at matching people, it can at least find me a few friends that might have a lot in common, right? So I filled out the long questionnaire seriously. Lots of questions about church, and I'm not religious, so those were lots of "not important" on all those scales. As eHarmony is known for being fairly "Christian," I can imagine the servers starting to smoke. :)

The interesting thing was that there were some questions about children. I don't have children, I don't want children, and I don't want to raise someone else's children. I answered those honestly. I did NOT want to be matched up with men who had children or wanted children. That was going to be a BIG waste of "romantic" time for any Dads and wanna-be Dads!

I've always advised friends that there are two things that are unlikely to change in a relationship no matter how much counselling you get or how much you try to twist yourself into a co-dependent pretzel for the other person: religion and children. Not everybody is willing to give up or change a religion. Not everybody is willing to have/want kids or eliminate kids from their future just for someone else. So I always say you might disagree on some world views or rock bands or mountains vs ocean, but make sure you match up on kids and religion, especially what religion for the kids. :)

Nearly every single person they matched me up with had children or wanted children. I didn't understand. Seemed like nice guys. I had to turn them all down in that first stage of eHarmony, which is the "I don't even want to take the first step to get to know them better" stage. I emailed eHarmony asking why they matched me up with these people when we could NEVER be a match. They told me I must have matched these people in so many other areas that the computer put us together anyway.

Um, any other answers I gave that you decided to ignore to match me up with people??!?!?!

So should I sue eHarmony? Should I tell them their site was hurtful and annoying because it didn't give me good options and matches, and seemed to only be aimed at people who had kids and wanted kids?

To me, the answer is just to avoid eHarmony. If eHarmony adds matching gay people in their system, and it matches couples well, then good. But once you are matching me with SUCH the wrong people, and ignoring answers I gave that I guess the system was designed to potentially ignore, then you've shown me that this is the wrong site to get connected with anybody.

Any system that is coded to ignore the answers given on how important children are in your life is the wrong system for me. I'll cut them some slack and not sue. :)


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Categories: Just An Observation

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