Social Graces

Monday, 22 December 2008 at 1:30 pm Pacific USA Time.

I don't need people to validate me or support me. I don't need to hear nice things from people. I don't hang my happiness on what other people think of me or things I do.

But I'm surprised at how many friends, strangers, and colleagues are comfy openly saying negative things about my recent move from Tucson, AZ to the Boston area. Yeah it's cold here in Boston. Thanks for letting me know about that. :)

You'd think that maybe people who don't feel totally positive might ask me a question… or might say something neutral and non-committal, like "wow that's a big move – hope it works out."

I'm really surprised at how many people are basically flat out telling me I'm making the wrong move, or the move is at the wrong time. You have no idea how hard this has been, and I guess given the choice, I'd like to hear something neutral if you can't squeak out a positive comment at this time.

Even total strangers have been like, "Why the hell would you move to Boston?" Thanks, total stranger. That feels great right now!

I left all my friends and community to move to a place that immediately got 18" of snow. My car is snowed in, and I can't get out to buy food. So given the choice, I'd like to hear something NOT negative right now.


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Categories: Just An Observation

Comments Closed

6 Responses to “Social Graces”

  1. Adam says:

    Debbie, I think it’s awesome you’re in Boston. Closer to the Red Sox is always a good move 😉

  2. Neil says:

    You are in your 30s, packed up your bags and moved to Boston so your husband can make a successful career in music. Sounds like a movie script adventure written for 19 year old protaganist. From me? Just envy. 😉

  3. Jen says:

    I think it’s just the nature of some people to be negative and cutting and make others feel bad about their choices. Personally, I think it was remarkable of you to make such a huge move and I’m sorry Boston hasn’t been giving you a very nice welcome.

  4. Maida says:

    Not that you need the validation, but just wanted to add my 2 cents worth as a Marriage Counselor for 40 years. You & your husband are off on a fantastic journey, and the ability for both of you to take this risk and have a win-win proposition speaks volumes about your strength as a couple!
    Not to mention how fabulous Boston and the surround Cape and New England area is, (other than in an ice storm.) You’ve chosen a perfect place, rich with opportunities that both of you will thrive in once the newness sets in (and Peapod delivers!)
    Pay no attention to the nay-sayers and here’s to a remarkable new adventure in the coming year for both of you! Best, Maida

  5. As Was says:

    Thanks, Maida! I DEEPLY appreciate the profound and caring things you said here. Thank you SO much. :)

  6. Maida says:

    You’re most welcome – they came from my heart and years of experience! You have wonderful times ahead for you and your hubby – you’ll make it work.
    I also meant to mention how funny your eharmony comments were – right on the money! Prior to my CONNECTIBLES stuff, this was my life’s work :)