Tell The Truth About Your Age

Monday, 7 June 2010 at 4:45 am Pacific USA Time.

Ah, from the world of online dating comes another idea in marketing… telling the truth about your age.

Ran into a guy who listed himself as 41, but said in his profile he was older. How old? He didn't say. We ended up emailing a bit, and he told me that he had to do that about his age because he wants to date women in their 30s, and he looks so young for his age.

There is something he forgot. I need to know his real age up front for one main reason. If I'm looking for someone likely to have something in common with me, I'm looking for someone from my generation.

I'm 38 (as of when I'm writing this). I grew up on Schoolhouse Rock. I remember the ABC After School Special. I had cable when MTV launched, and all of that British and Australasian music influenced my taste. I was raised on Sesame Street. When John Lennon was shot, I didn't know who he was (I was too young). I thought Saturday Night Live was amazing when Christopher Guest was in the cast (1984), and then pretty great with Phil Hartman. In college, we were told over and over about safe sex. I grew up with computers (in my home).

If you are age 50ish, you didn't grow up with that stuff. By the time the early 80s hit, you already loved classic rock. When Sesame Street hit the airwaves in the late 1960s, you were too old for Sesame Street. You watched Saturday Night Live in the 1970s. Your college years probably looked like a cross between Animal House and Studio 54. You grew up with 8 track tapes, and probably didn't see a computer until one was plopped at your desk at work some time around 1990.

We probably just kind of grew up with different cultural influences. Sure, we could still have a lot in common. But I am more likely to connect with someone who grew up with what I grew up with. You didn't have to grow up near me. I'm just looking for commonalities and those include cultural and generational. Lying about your age doesn't change where we're going to disconnect if you didn't grow up being into the same things I remember being into.

And if you're "that much older than I am," then I'm taking care of your old ass that much sooner. :) So a woman in her 30s might like this guy because he looks young… but when he's 68 and she's 50 (he said the last woman he dated was 18 years younger), it's going to be a very different world. What he looks like won't matter as much as other things.

One more thing. When you are about 15-20 years older than someone, personally, I don't think you should look at them and see a potential life partner. You should see potential offspring. I am not for people dating people old enough to be their parents or children. I don't have Daddy issues. I am not looking to recreate any aspect of my father in the man I date. If that person is or was a mentor to you, even worse. You've established that teacher/student power thing, so how will you create a truly equal relationship.

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Categories: Just An Observation

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